Mother Knows Best

Nad’s Bedroom at night.

The last bells of the Angelus are heard from outside the house. It is around dinner time. The bedroom is dim but we see a bookshelf, a TV set with a DVD player, a desk with a laptop computer, some luggage, one door that leads to the bathroom, the other the entrance to Nad’s room and a bed. Two bodies are seen moving from under the bed sheets; their figures twist and turn as they giggle.

Gloide Suzanne (50′s, Nad’s mother): (Shouts) Nad, kome ya! (The two figures do not seem to hear as they keep on twisting and giggling under the sheets. We can hear footsteps and Gloide Suzanne opens the door, and switches on the lights.) Susmariajosep!

Nad(21, graduating student): Ma! (Gets out of bed and quickly puts on his shorts and T-shirt)

Gloide Suzanne: Nad! Cosa bo ta ase alli?

Nad: Ah… Nuay lang.

Gloide Suzanne: (Looks at the other figure under the sheets and slowly walks towards the bed) Quien se debo uban?

Nad: Ah… Nuay… Si… Ah… Wait!

Gloide Suzanne removes sheet and sees a girl wearing only her under wear. We can see the development of her reaction from shock, disbelief, and rage.

Kaye (17, Nad’s girlfriend): (Mouth wide and lets out a small cry) Oh my God!

Gloide Suzanne: Sinverguenza bos Nad! Maga nuay huya!

Nad: Wait, Ma, I can explain.

Gloide Suzanne: (At Kaye) Bisti daw bo kamisa Neng! Senior, el mio anak, el mi hijo, umpoco delicadeza tamen Nad!

Kaye picks up her clothes and covers herself with the sheet. She dresses up under the sheet.

Nad: But we weren’t doing anything wrong.

Gloide Suzanne: Ta pensa kamo ayer lang comigo ya nace! Y hinde pa bien biyeha para ase lang consuelo de bobo!

Nad: Ma, calm down!

Gloide Suzanne: Hinde iyo man calma! (Walks towards Nad then pulls him on his shirt away from Kaye) Si ay sabe el diatun maga uban na parokya, kosa ya lang sila abla?! Ha?! Na el hijo di Senyora Toribio un fornicador! Que horror!

Nad: Ma! I don’t think anybody would know. (Shrugs off his mothers grip on his polo.)

Gloide Suzanne: Onde bo se ya aprende man rason ansina?! Amo se kombo ta insinya se mujer?! Nad, inca y resa para debos pecado! Ahora mismo! (Points at Kaye) Ebo tamen! (Nad’s mother clutches the rosary on her neck.) Senior, perdona na mi anak. Yan mal impluensya lang conele el demonyo. (Mother takes the rosary from her neck, kneels and begins to pray, rapidly and silently.) San Bellarmine, San Realino, San Benedicto, resa para na mi anak!

She does this for a moment, then looks at Nad.

Gloide Suzanne: Hinde ya abla iyo ingka! Ingka Nad! (Points at Kaye) Pati ebo, ingka!

Nad kneels. Kaye gets from the bed fully dressed up, bows her head, gets her luggage.

Kaye: Sorry po. Nakakahiya po sa inyo.

Gloide Suzanne: (Points at Kaye) Onde bo anda?

Kaye: Uhm… Mauuna na alng po ako, Ma’am.

Gloide Suzanne:Alli lang bos! Ingka, ahora mismo!

Kaye steps back and kneels beside Nad.

Gloide Suzanne: Nuay pa iyo prinsipya kombos! Kosa debo nombre?

Kaye: Uhm…

Gloide Suzanne: Kosa debo nombre?

Kaye: Kaye po.

Gloide Suzanne: Kaye? Cosa clase nombre se, ha! Cosa apelyido? De donde bos?

Kaye: Uhm…

Nad: Ma, stop it. Please.

Gloide Suzanne: (Looks at Nad and raises her hand wildly) Hinde iyo kombos tan cuento?! (Directs her attention to Kaye and shouts) Contesta!

Kaye starts to cry.

Nad: (Nad stands up, and shouts) MA, STOP IT!

Nad sits beside Kaye and embraces her. Mother shocked, puts her hand over her mouth, and another hand, the one holding the rosary, puts it on her chest.

Gloide Suzanne: Ansina bo ta contesta ya engranda Nad?

Nad shrugs of his mother’s grip, and goes to comfort the sobbing Kaye.

Gloide Suzanne: Iyo el debo nana! Kabar ansina bos ta trata comigo? (Mother grabs her rosary. She starts to sob and pray.) San Miguel, San Rafael, y todo maga anghel na cielo, purga conel demonyo na cuerpo del mi anak!

Nad: Ma, you’re over reacting! Why do you have to embarass me like this?!

Gloide Suzanne: Tan huya iyo kombo?! Tan huya kombo?! Ebo! Ebo el dapat man huya aki! Ebo, ta lleva lleva conese… conese seductora!

Kaye: Nakakahiya po sa inyo but I didn’t seduce him Ma’am. We both did it with consent.

Nad is shocked at Kaye’s outspokenness. Gloide Suzanne turns her attention to Kaye, and stalks toward her.

Gloide Suzanne: Bien baliente gayod bos contesta!?

Kaye: Gusto ko lang po klaruhin. I did not seduce your son.

Gloide Suzanne: Na porke man bo taki?! Para kosa se debo bagahe? Ha?

Nad: Kaye, wait!

Kaye: Pasensya na po. Di ko po alam, na nandito kayo. Nad said we could wait here before we leave for the bus at 10. But then one thing led to another, tapos ayun na.

Gloide Suzanne: (At Nad) ha?! Sigi se kombo? Pensaba iyo hunto bo debo amigo anda Dumaguete?

Nad: I am Ma, but she’s also coming with me.

Gloide Suzanne: (Drained and tired as if about to faint) Nuay gayod bos huya Nad! Yan pamparon bo comigo!

Nad sits down Gloide Suzanne by the chair near his desk. Gloide Suzanne fans herself.

Nad: Ma, I didn’t actually lie. I just didn’t include it in the narrative.

Kaye: (To Nad) Hindi mo pala sinabi sa Mama mo? I thought okay na sa kanya.

Gloide Suzanne: Sinverguenza bos Nad! Numa ya bos sale, Numa bos man bakasyon.

Nad: What?! You can’t! I’ve been planning this for a year now! And you already said yes months ago!

Gloide Suzanne: Ta protecta lang iyo mio hijona buling del mundo.

Nad: Ma, I’m not a little kid anymore! I’m not that innocent.

Kaye: Not as innocent as you think. (Embraces Nad.)

Gloide Suzanne stands up and walks towars Nad and grabs his sleeve.

Gloide Suzanne:Ay onde ba iyo yan mali kombo Nad?! Ya ase man iyo todo bueno para kombo! Embonamente iyo kombo ya engranda! Onde iyo yan kamali kombo?

Nad: Ma, please stop that now. Please listen.

Gloide Suzanne: Kosa man iyo nesisita sabe? Kay mi anak un fornicador?

Nad: Ma, listen! Kaye is my girlfriend, we’re together. Please understand that.

Gloide Suzanne: Hijo! Hinde se amo ansina, na tiempo di amun ta manda anay konese y ta pidi pa kame permiso conel di amun maga parientes. Cuanto anyo ya ba se debo nobya?

Nad rolls his eyes and opens his mouth. He is about to answer when Kaye interrupts.

Kaye: I’m 17 po.

Gloide Suzanne: Decisite?! Senior! Hay Nad! Ebo pa gale mismo ta busca duelenciade cabeza! Ebo gale se el cradle snatcher alyi!

Nad: What the?! It’s just a four year gap. You and Dad had a difference of thirteen years!

Gloide Suzanne: (Gets a fan from her pocket and starts fanning herself.) Loco bos! Numa bo ase bira el cuento! Otro cuento ya se! Nuay pa gane bo gradua colehiyo, tan pilit-pilit ya bo na debo nobya!

Nad: Ma! You and Dad got married a year before you graduated.

Gloide Suzanne: Si taqui lang el debos tata, God rest his soul, kamatis ya bo!

Nad: You’re not listening to reason.

Gloide Suzanne: Basta ya se cuento! (Changes the topic.) Iyo siempre debos naa, ebo siempre mi hijo.

Nad: I’m 21 years old. I’m not a –

Kaye: He’s a big boy now.

Nad and his mother both look at Kaye. Nad’s mother freaks out a bit.

Gloide Suzanne: Santisima! (Looks at Nad) Palta pa gaha mi pagkastricto kombo! Porcaosa se na internet, todo lang pornograpiya!

Nad: (Flings his arm in the air) Hah! Ma! I’m a guy, it’s –

Kaye: I’ts normal naman po. Lalake naman siya.

Nad and his mother look at Kaye again.

Nad: Anyways, dont talk to me about porn Ma. I found your stash of dildo’s and vibrators when I was in highschool, and to this day, I still know where you keep them.

Gloide Suzanne: Hoy! Nuay mas ya gane bo respeto, ara ta acusa pa bo comigo! Pendeho bos! Nuay bos huya! Del debo quel Tia! Sabe ya man bo, dalaga biyeha quel!

Nad: You don’t have to deny it Ma! It had your name on it!

Nad’s mother does not answer but just keep on fanning herself. Kaye covers her mouth with her hand as she smiles.

Gloide Suzanne: (Points at Kaye with the fan) No bos rie-rie alli! (Standsup shouts at Nad) Porque iyo man ara na spotlight?! Ebo ahora el culpable, kabar ara ta ase bos bira comigo! Pati porque bo tan cuento komigo ansina? Ha Nad?!

Nad does not answer.

Gloide Suzanne: Kosa man Nad?! Contesta pa?! Santa Madre! Hay! Kosa pa iyo nisesitasabe Nad?! Manyakul ya bo, ta lleva pa debos nobya aki na kasa, y hinde pa bos ta respeta comigo?! (Looks and points at Kaye) Ebo! Ebo gayod se el demonyo!

Nad: (Shouts) Ma! Why do you make things so difficult?! Why do you habe to make a scene like everything needs divine intervention? Besides, look whose talking. You’re the one with the vibrator!

Kaye: (Hits Nad on the shoulder) Ano ka ba? Below the belt na yon!

Gloide Suzanne: Ansina gale ha?! Grounded bos asta de bo graduation!

Nad: I’m too old for that to work!

Gloide Suzanne: (Drops her jaw and makes the sign of the cross) San Martin de Porres, San Benedicto, San Miguel, y San Rafael… Kosa ta pasa kombo Nad?!

Nad: I just grew up and had a mind of my own Ma.

Silence. Kaye sits down on the foot of the bed and Nad sits on one of the stroller bags facing his mother.

Nad: The bus leaves at 10 pm. We’ll be waiting till then. I hope you don’t mind.

Gloide Suzanne: Hinde bo anda.

Nad: You’ve already said yes months ago.

Gloide Suzanne: Hinde bo anda si huntu le kombo.

Kaye: Uhm… It’s not my place to ask, pero bakit po ayaw niyo sa akin?

Gloide Suzanne does not answer.

Nad: Ma, why don’t you like Kaye?

Gloide Suzanne does not reply, but covers her face with her hands.

Kaye: Bakit po?

Nad: Ma, please answer.

Gloide Suzanne: (Crying) Kasi ta ruba bo di mi anak comigo!

Nad: Ma, that’s not it. You’re still my mother.

Gloide Suzanne: (Crying) Hindi na bo ta ama comigo!

Nad: Ma, don’t say that. I’m still you’re son, it doesn’t change anything.

Gloide Suzanne: (Crying) Hinde! Mas quiere bo conele contra comigo.

Nad: (Comforts Mother) Ma, I love you both. It’s just different, you’re my mother.

Kaye: Opo. Iba naman ang pagmamahal na binibigay sa akin ni Nad, iba rin po yung pagmamahal niya sa inyo..

Gloide Suzanne: (Turns to Kaye) Kosa bo ya abla?! Manyak bos mujer bos!

Nad: Ma, calm down please. El di tuyu pression.

Gloide Suzanne weepson Nad’s shoulder. Nad looks at Kaye apologetically then turns his head and rests his head on his mother’s. At the very same time. Gloide Suzanne looks up at Kaye as if saying “In the end, I am still the victor!” Kaye rolls her eyes at this.

Gloide Suzanne: Anda pa tu man bakasyon? Deha tu comigo aqui solo?

Nad: Yes Ma, I’m going but don’t worry. It’s only for 10 days. I’ll be back before you know it.

Gloide Suzanne: Promise?

Nad: Promise Ma.

Kaye: Oh my God Nad!

Nad and Gloide Suzanne end their hug. Kaye walks toward Nad and grab his sleeve and pulls him closer to her. She embraces him.

Kaye: (To Gloide Suzanne) Iwanan niyo na po anak niyo sa akin. Aalagaan at mamahalin ko po siya. Don’t worry po.

Gloide Suzanne: Hoy! (Stands) Ta pensa bo deha iyo kombo solo huntu na mi anak?! Si sigi bo, sigi tamen iyo para bisya kombo!

Nad: What?!

Kaye: Ano?! Ano po ba problema niyo?! Sobrang over protective naman kayo!

Gloide Suzanne: Over protective?! Hinde no! Si quiere gayod bo na mi anak, nisesita chaperone!

Nad: Ma! That’s Ridiculous!

Kaye: Dapat ako ang may kailangan ng chaperone, hindi siya. At sira po ba kayo? Chaperone at this day and age? Come on!

Gloide Suzanne: (To Nad) Calla boca! (To Kaye) Si nukiere man bo, hinde na bo puede mira con Nad maskin por cuando!

Nad: Don’t do this to me Ma!

Kaye: Well then, let him decide! (Then violently kisses and frisks Nad in places that make Gloide Suzanne’s expression go livid)

Gloide Suzanne walks towards Nad and Kaye. She grabs Nad and breaks Kaye’s grasp. She stands in between Kaye and Nad.

Gloide Suzanne: Ebo, mal impluensya bos na mi anak! (Grips Kaye’s arm tightly it hurts) Sinverguenza bos!

Kaye: Aray! You’re hurting me!

Nad: Ma, what are you doing?!

Gloide Suzanne: Puta de Babilonia! Un seductora!

Nad: (Goes to separate Kaye from his mother’s grip) You’re hurting her! God damn it Ma! (Nad drags his mother to the other side of the room and seats her in a chair. Nad goes to Kaye, embraces her and comforts her.)

Gloide Suzanne is shocked at Nad’s act and she begins to pray again in her seat.

Gloide Suzanne: Hay, San Pedro, San Garnet, San Ignacio resa para namio anak y el nobya que ya liba conele na malimpluensya! (Continues praying)

Nad: (To Kaye) I’m sorry, she didn’t mean it.

Kaye: (Kaye shrugs off Nad) Oh yes she did! Sinaktan niya ako!

Nad: Take it easy Kaye, she’s just overreacting.

Kaye: Overreacting?! She’s crazy! You’re crazy!

Gloide Suzanne: (Suddenly shouts) Gracias Senior! Ya uwitu el mi reso! Man break ya mi anak pati el su nobya demonya.

Nad: Ma! What the hell are you dong?! Stop that now!

Kaye: Parang good idea yon! I don’t want to be in a relationship like this.

Nad: What?! What are you talking about?! Don’t say things like that.

Kaye: Ayoko tawagan akong demonya, isang seductora, o isang puta. At mas ayoko dahil galing ito sa crazy mother mo. My own mother doesn’t call me that nor does she insult you.

Gloide Suzanne: Gracias senior!

Nad: Let’s talk about this please! Don’t go!

Kaye: (Taking the stroller bag, and is walking towrads the door, about to cry) I’m sorry Nad. Hindi ko ‘to kaya.

Gloide Suzanne: (To Nad) Dyalo ya Nad. Manada pa mujer alli, iyo ya lang bahala escuhi para contigo.

Kaye: Bye Nad. (Kaye exits, through the door)

Nad: No! Kaye!

Gloide Suzanne: (Stands up, and arms raised) Gracias Senior!

Nad is shocked at Kaye leaving him. He just stands there until his mother grabs a chair and sits him in the middle of the room. His eyes are open, looking at nothing.

Gloide Suzanne: Numa ya tu pensa conele. Manda pa mujer alli. Sabe tu, mas manada bonita na Dumaguete. Bueno pa custumbre.

Nad just looks at his mother.

Gloide Suzanne: Pensaba tu hinde iyo contigo manda man bakasyon? (Laughs, then pinches his cheeks) Man enjoy tu alla, chene iyo amiga de alla.

Nad just stares straight ahead.

Gloide Suzanne: Numa ya tu man problema hijo, iyo bahala contigo. Ay sabe ya yo! Unrato tu. (Gloide Suzanne goes to bathroom)

Gloide Suzanne comes out with a basin filled with water, and a sponge. She goes towards Nad, and she starts taking off his shirt and gives him a sponge bath. She does this while singing some kiddie nursery rhyme.

The set goes dark as the lights slowly fade until we cannot see anything but we can only hear the nursery rhyme.


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